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Just Starting Out
By Cheryllynne Ofstedahl
I’ve literally been doing stand up for
three months.
I signed up for a class at the Ontario
Improv on a whim. I had been a
professional actress (meaning I made
my oh-so-meager living that way) until I
had my daughter, when things like
steady income, food and housing
became greater priorities than they had
been in the past.
Stand up had always been on my list.
You know, the list of things you need to
accomplish before you die.
When I was a little girl, my list had things on it like:
• Beat Jennifer Herrera in the school spelling bee
• Don’t sleep through recess
• Get a boy to kiss me behind the cafeteria
When I was in college the list consisted of slightly more idealistic items:
• Achieve world peace
• Crack the code of dolphin language
• Get a boy to kiss me behind the cafeteria
Now that I’m older, my list is a little more realistic:
• Try my hand at stand-up
• Clean the bathroom occasionally
• Get a boy to kiss me. Anyplace.
Some people have adventurous things on their lists like bungee jumping and skydiving.
I like the idea of living long enough to write more lists.
So I enrolled in the class taught by Johnny Dam and Gary Cannon and it was the most
frightening experience of my life. I learned very quickly that acting and stand up are the
polar opposites of the performance art spectrum. I am a good actress because I am
truly happiest being someone else (insert your psychiatric diagnosis here) and in stand
up, you need to be your most authentic self or the jokes just don’t work. You need
people to empathize, sympathize and above all, laugh with you. I can’t personally think
of anything scarier or more exhilarating. When you have the audience, when they are
right there with you, well “you can sell my clothes, I’ve gone to heaven.”
The course ran for eight weeks. The first week was sort of an orientation and Comedy
101 lecture: “Always take the stage from the stairs. Never leave the stage empty. Write
what you know” - the basic rules of the road. In the subsequent weeks, we built our
sets, bringing a new minute’s worth of material to the stage each week and adding it to
our previous work. Gary and Johnny played “good cop/bad cop,” with Johnny giving dead
honest, but constructive criticism and Gary offering lighthearted platitudes and a
smattering of business advice.
The class was kept purposefully small, so
every comic took the stage each week. The
culminating event was a live graduation show.
Each of the ten fledgling comics in my class
performed the full five-minute sets we had
created. Truthfully, I’d have to say nobody
killed but the good news is nobody died
either.
My particular performance that night was like
a bizarre out-of-body experience. We had
been told how critical it is to get a laugh
within the first 10 seconds of taking the mic,
so my set had began with a one-liner about
my name.
I’ve watched the tape several times and I know the audience response was warm and
immediate, but in my physical recollection of the moment, I remember telling the joke
and having enough time to count the crowd, wonder if I had turned off the curling iron
before leaving the house and deeply ponder the purpose of my existence. Then the
laughter came. It was nerve-wracking and exciting. When I left the stage to thunderous
applause (I have a big support group) I was hooked.
The most important thing the class taught me (other than the fact that I do this
annoying George Clooney movement with my head) is that you’ve got to do the work.
So many comics I’ve run into in these fledgling months have proven that theory.
There are those who think they’re sooooo funny they don’t have to try. They believe
they merely have to open their mouths and out drop precious pearls of hilarity that we
should all feel lucky to receive. These coincidentally, in my admittedly limited
experience, are the same individuals who flagrantly hack other comic’s work, get up on-
stage miles away from sober-ville and fail to thank their hosts or the venue for letting
their sorry asses perform.
Another thing the class taught me is that this business is as tough as any out there and
unlike acting, where a simple audition using material you didn’t even write can get you
a six-month paying gig, a comedian may work for years for free drinks and cab fare
before getting to a place where they can command a decent paycheck, if they ever get
there at all.
And (don’t panic, I won’t belabor the point) it’s definitely a man’s game. Women have
to work even harder. Maybe it’s all about physical appearance. If you’re reasonably
attractive, it’s easier to get booked but being too sexy on stage is a death sentence
because men can't wait to screw you and laugh at you the same time.
Maybe it’s just the preconceived female archetypes that get in the way. Your grand-
father can tell poop jokes all day long and you’ll pee yourself silly but imagine your
saintly grandmother talking about how many bowel movements and black men
she’s had, and you’ll be deafened by the awkward silence.
Maybe it’s simply because we can’t convincingly do good dick jokes. I’m relatively
certain it has a lot to do with the material. When there are four female comics on the
bill and every one of them does a bit about hating men, having her period and the pros
and cons of spitting vs. swallowing (okay, that’s just me), it does get stale quick.
So here we are, post graduation and I’m stepping out of the comfort and safety of the
classroom into the gritty reality of the stand-up experience. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Cher – The Other White Meat
Do you have any feedback for
Cheryllynne? To add your
comments,click here.
Cheryllynne Ofestedahl
is a stand-up comedian
who performs in
Southern California.
