The Vault Interview: Patrice O'Neal, STAGE TIME - The Magazine That Stands Up For Comedy

Patrice O’Neal is a dynamic gentle giant who defies the rules
and shatters audience expectations with his brand of humor
that is unapologetic and brutally honest. He has emerged as
one of the hardest-working comedians in the business,
juggling as a regular on Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn and the
co-host of the new animated series Shorties Watching
Shorties on Comedy Central.

Most recently, he landed his first magazine cover story for Stop
Smiling, was selected as the reader’s choice winner for
“Funniest Comedian of the 2004” on Comedy Newspaper.com
and added to the cast of the FOX-TV drama, The Jury.

When did you decide to become a comedian and how did that affect you playing football
in college?

Any good comic can’t even answer that…it was just is. When I decided to get on stage it
was ’92 and I was heckling some guy in the audience and he said “why don’t you get up
here if you think you’re good” and I give him credit for just saying something; but it was
going to happen anyway because it was all I could do – ever. I’m what they call a jack of all
trades and a master of none.

So what happened with you playing football?

I didn’t like it. You got to love football to play it. You have to like practicing and you have to
like everything about football. You can’t just play it because it’s something you’re good at
it. In order to be really successful at it, you have to love football and I didn’t love it. I liked
playing and hitting the guy and talking shit; but I didn’t like it.

What comics do you enjoy watching?

Richard Pryor and George Carlin

When was the last time you bombed?

Last week! I bomb all the time. I bomb every chance I get. It makes you a better comic.

How would you describe your comedy style?

I changed from wanting to kill. You change and grow as a man and then you grow as a
comic at the same time. Sometimes I would want to get the crowd to laugh the hardest
and fan approval was most important. The most important thing now is I say what I want to
say and some people were with me when I said it. I want to be more of a cult comic. I
wanna have a bunch of people who are into what I say.

Tell me about Shorties Watching Shorties and how that project came about?

Jim Serpico, Denis Leary and Apostle (Productions) took a liking to me. I did Comics
Come Home and Contest Searchlight. They’ve helped me a lot. They needed to punch up
the show and they needed characters to bring in the comic’s bits that they animated; but
they needed something to transition between comics. Me and Nick DiPaolo are the guys
who transition the stuff.

How is working on Tough Crowd different than Chappelle’s Show?

I only did Chappelle’s Show once and it took ten— twelve hours. Colin’s show is one hour.
I get to wear my own clothes and get to say what the fuck I want to say. That’s the
difference. I gotta act and be up there for ten hours in a goofy fucking suit and say what
someone wants me to say as oppose to Colin, I say what I feel like saying. And it’s eleven
hours less time.

You’re in the movies Head of State, 25th Hour, and In the Cut. My favorite was Babydoll
Hector in In the Cut. How much input did you have in developing that character?

I developed it because I did the character to get the role in the audition. It was a Dominican
sissy.

With pink eyelashes…

Oh, I didn’t develop that shit. I went in and read for the part and got the part and then they
dressed me up like that. I didn’t come in like that. I came in like me – and I left a fag.

What is it like working with Meg Ryan and Mark Ruffalo?

If you’re not the star of these movies, you don’t really work with these people. You’re not on
their level. They don’t talk to you like “Hey, how are you feeling?” They go “Action. Cut.” And
they fucking walk away. It’s not a relationship that you have. It’s hierarchy in this game. It’s
labels. They said “Action”; she [Ryan] said “Hey.” She talked to my character. She didn’t
say two words to me. Mark Ruffalo was cool though. We talked but I didn’t work with him.
We bumped into each other in the cabin while he was getting his hair done and when he
was done, he goes “Nice meeting you.” He goes “That’s the game.” Did I work with Chris
Rock? No! I talked to him in the movie. But I worked with Spike Lee.

What was that experience like?

It was fun. Spike’s a muthafucker. He saw me, liked me and put me in. He said “You’re in.”
I wish all niggas was like that. That’s exactly how I got role in the movie: “You’re in.” He
looked at me and didn’t think I was that good. He probably just went “Ahh, put him in
because he can’t fuck it up. You’re in.” I appreciate that. It would have been nice to
keeping working with that dude. That was the best thing I got at that time too. The thing I’m
doing now, The Jury, they saw something too. It’s like they know something’s there and
they’re letting me become good as an actor. Those dudes are cool. Tom Fontana could
write me out in a death scene in a minute; but they gave me a break. I’m learning on the
job. I’m getting acting chops.

How would you describe your creative process for writing jokes?

I do it on stage now. I got to be interested in the subject matter because I’m really not good
at writing jokes anymore. I don’t care about laughs as much as I use to. I want the people
who really like me to laugh. I don’t want laughter that I can get easy. To get laughs, it’s
easy. It’s rhythm. All you have to do is have a rhythm and you can get people to laugh at
anything. I’d rather have one person laugh that really got what the fuck I was saying than
have everybody just sitting and laughing.

I like animosity in the crowd because that’s real. Not everyone is going to laugh. I want
there to be a real dynamic. Jokes are really like music. You can go blah, blah, blah, bam
and then they start to anticipate the joke. I like for people to really listen and feel like they
don’t know when I’m going to say something funny.

What was your writing process before you started writing on stage?

“You ever notice…” That’s what we all do. You try to figure out what was funny about
growing up. That’s why it’s too hard to do that. It sucks because it means you can’t live
your life. When you need everything to be a joke…if we’re sitting here laughing, I don’t take
that to the stage because that makes sure I’m always going to be funny. I get to keep shit
for me and keep it for us and that’s the essence why you’re funny; but if every single time
something happens that could be a joke, I don’t want to take it to the stage. Then what am
I? I’m not even a person who’s enjoying life—I’m just a leech. I don’t like jokes anymore.

At the Canine Comedy Fundraiser, several comics performed before a rude audience
yet, you were the only one who got the audience’s attention.

Audiences are fucking stupid. Psychology is a funny thing. People are not innately good.
People don’t see you struggling and they don’t have the sense to help you, so when
people see you down, it’s that animal instinct that they want to attack when you’re weak.

When they know that you need them, then you’re trying to reach them and you give them
the power to make you feel uncomfortable, they enjoy that power corrupt. They already feel
powerless because you’re on stage and you’re already been told that you’re the most
important muthafucker at that time in that room and you give them power to take that away.
So, it’s like—fuck you, you goofy dog-loving cocksuckers. You take power out of someone’
s hands and then they want to be attached to you. I don’t give audiences power. I don’t
need them. I need people who are real and people who get me.

Other comics came up before you and couldn’t get the audience’s attention. What is it
about you that--

I try to do the right thing. I tried to do the same jokes, get the money; but I was miserable. I
didn’t try to take it to another level; didn’t test what I could say. I just killed. I was in a zone
about five, six years ago where I was like I’m going to be the guy who just does well. I’m
not going to piss anyone off and I can’t function like that. It happened out of depression,
out necessity. It’s either that or not do comedy. ‘Cause I would quit if I had to figure out how
to be funny all the fuckin’ time.

What do you think is missing in stand-up today?

Funny muthafuckers. People who funny mean something to, not niggas who tell jokes.
Laughter is a culture. It’s like something you need everyday. I know people who can’t
survive without comedy and I’m one of them. I don’t have a back-up plan. I’m finished
without this shit.

If you could change anything about the comedy business, what would it be?

More funny people. The business will do what it wants to do. No more cornballs. No
comics who judge you. Comics who sit there and go “that’s inappropriate.” A comic who
says “inappropriate” should die.

Do you think women are funny?

NO! There are probably some funny women floating around. Most women aren’t funny.
Women don’t laugh at everything. They don’t think everything is funny. Women are here
so that the world continues to exist. If it was up to men, the evil of this world would take it
over. Women are here to go “ahhh” to add that nurturing instinct, not to laugh and pain and
suffering. Men are here to laugh at pain and suffering. Women are here to say “don’t do
that.” That’s the dynamic. There’s no silly women that just laugh at people farting and
tripping. Men are silly.

STAGE TIME The Magazine That Stands Up For Comedy stagetimemag.com Fall 2005


CONTENTS


			INVITE THEM UP Eugene Mirman & Bobby Tisdale
INSIDE THIS ISSUE


Jim Norton George Sarris Leighann Lord Jeffrey Gurian Dane Cook Eugene Mirman Jon Stewart Steve Harvey Patrice O'Neal Robert Kelly Laurie Kilmartin Jeremy Schacter Ben Bailey Jon Stewart Steve Harvey & More






DVDs Richard Lewis - Concerts from Hell: The Vintage Years Lisa Lampanelli -Take It Like a Man (CD/DVD) Dane Cook - Retaliation (CD/DVD) Tom Green - Inside & Outside Brother Sam: A Tribute to Sam Kinison Laffapolooza 1 Latinlogues, Vol. 2 Platinum Comedy Series -Bill Bellamy Deluxe Edition CDs Todd Barry - Medium Energy Rick Younger-Come On N'ah Steven Lynch - The Craig Machine DL Hughley - Notes from the GED Section Books Billy Crystal - 700 Sundays Tom Green and Allen Rucker - Hollywood Causes Cancer: The Tom Green Story Margaret Cho - I Have Chosen to Stay and Fight Penn Jillette and Mickey D. Lynn - How to Cheat Your Friends at Poker: The Widom of Dickie Richard Margaret Smith - What Was I Thinking? How Stand-Up Did Nothing to Prepare Me to Become a Single Mother Bill Maher - New Rules: Polite Musings From a Timid Observer Oliver Double - Getting the Joke: The Art of Stand-Up Robert Klein - The Amorous Busboy of Decatur Avenue: A Child of the Fifties Looks Back Dave Schwensen - Comedy Faqs and Answers: How the Stand-Up Biz Really Works
Movies Fri, Oct. 14 Domino - Mo'Nique plays a dramatic role opposite Keira Knightley and Mickey Rourke. Fri, Oct. 21 Stay - Janeane Garofalo co-stars with Ewan McGregor, Naomi Watts and Ryan Gosling. Fri, Nov. 4 Jarhead - Jamie Foxx stars opposite Jake Gyllenhaal Nov. 11 Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic - Comedian discusses race, sex and politics with friends. Nov. 25 Rent - Sarah Silverman plays a supporting role in the feature adaptation of the hit Broadway play. Yours, Mine and Ours - George Lopez and Lil JJ (Beauty Shop) In the Mix - Kevin Hart co-stars with singer Usher and Chazz Palminteri.